Cryin’ Guys

Original song: Lyin’ Eyes – The Eagles

Cryin’ Guys

Parody lyrics by: R. S. Leergaard

~

GOP is going to find out early

Gonna happen here in just a while

These new women, better not call them girly

There’s way more to these gals than just a smile

~

Come what may you’ll find out this November

Better sit down there and take this sound advice

If you think they can’t, it’s best you just remember

Ignore them now and you’ll pay a fearsome price

~

Don’t look now but they have got us all believing

In a few months you’ll all be going down

‘Cause they’re tired of all this damn deceiving

Pack your bags and get the hell out of this town

~

There they are, those cryin’ guys

And their tears come as no surprise

Oh those clowns should have realized

Screw with them and you’ll be those cryin’ guys

~

No, the Women’s Movement is no longer waiting

They’re coming for you now and they’re for real

They’ve had it up to here with all the hating

Oh, and also with your false religious zeal

~

They’re rushing to this thing, they’re all together

The GOP is shocked and in denial

So let’s watch these women toss them out forever

And give them all one last sweet goodbye smile

~

Once again, those cryin’ guys

No, those tears are no surprise

So take your time and realize

You are going to be those cryin’ guys

~

See that one there, yes, she is a strong one

And that one there might once have been a guy

But in this time there are no longer wrong ones

There’s just right, and they’re reaching for the sky

~

They don’t wonder how things ever got this crazy

They’ve watched a man whose every act is cruel

The wool is gone, the world is not so hazy

To count them out would be an act of fools

~

My oh my, how they’re going to rearrange things

They’ll set them up so well, so carefully

Just get ready, ‘cause you’re gonna see some strange things

No, things won’t be the way they used to be

~

There they go, those cryin’ guys

Tossed them out on their thin behinds

And now they’ve been repaid in kind

That’s just how it feels to be cryin’ guys

They’re always gonna be those cryin’ guys

Oh yeah, there they go, those cryin’ guys

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My own opinion 5 – Uncivil

M5-Civil-Disobedience

Right off the bat, I have to reiterate that I do not now, nor will I ever, agree with or likely come around to forgiving anyone who is still supporting *45 at this time—ie: those who still make up his core, or more accurately, his base, and I use that term in all of its worst definitions.

M5-Base-2

Many of us wanted to see change come to Washington, DC, and it turned out to be very sad that the Democratic Party, in its continued stupidity, offered up a choice of two rather bad candidates to run against what was, at the time, mostly just a really, really bad @GOP one. Time—just a little over 500 days—has since shown us that *45 is way more that just a bad person, much less President, he’s a lying (we already knew that) , misogynistic, xenophobic racist and purely evil piece of skunk scat. There are a lot more horrible adjectives that describe this puckered anus, but the saddest thing of all is that his mesmerized base can’t or won’t see this all to obvious fact. That is why they will always be his Base as far as I am concerned.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way . . . onward.

Much of what I’m going to say next has already been said multiple times by multiple others far more famous and eloquent than I, but they bear repeating, anyway. It’s funny—in the sad and unfortunate way, not the actual funny one—that so many on the ‘so-called’ right (white evangelicals, all @GOP republicans at this point, *45’s base, @NRA leadership, white nationalists, etc.)—are so quick to use crude language and suggest violent responses to any challenge to their supposed authority–and, in the case of supremacists, superiority–yet are totally surprised and offended when they receive the same treatment in response.

Well tough toenails. That’s really, really, really, really, really too bad. Decades of politeness have had no effect on these clowns. All they ever saw that as was weakness. For a long time I thought that the stereotypical image of the cowardly bully was just that—a stereotype. But it turns out that, at least insofar as it applies to the above mentioned clowns, it really is true.

Who-Are-Those-Clowns

The far right or Alt-Right or whatever they’re calling themselves lately, are the real ‘snowflakes (their own term for liberals/libruls/libtards or whatever else). Since the loss of ‘The Fairness Doctrine’, the proliferation of alt-right radio hosts and later, FOXNEWS – their arrogance, their deliberately obnoxious behavior, and their promulgation of conspiracy theories and just plain lies has become progressively worse and more blatant. Yet they’re the first ones to call any and every piece of relevant, vetted and accurate report #FakeNews simply because it’s unflattering and/or damaging to their narrative. This is especially and egregiously true of *45, himself.

But now, they’re the ones who are mortally offended when they’re confronted with equally vehement responses. They’re suddenly surprised and shocked to see the folks they’re been ridiculing for decades as milquetoasts, pussies and spineless weaklings standing up and SHOUTING OBSCENITIES! in their faces. And it’s not going to end any time soon.

It’s too damned bad and too damned late for *45’s base to come around to the realization that they chose a complete and utter moron to be their hero. Their avatar. Their messiah. You picked the wrong guy, ya boneheads.

Even as a young, naive, barely-in-my-twenties, newbie sailor, I knew a lying, cheating, crooked conman (I will never, ever refer to him as a con artist as there is nothing approaching artistry in this putrid piece of kangaroo excrement) for exactly what he was the moment he made his first public statement back in the 70s.

M5-Angalou-Quote

He has never been a good businessman (multiple business bankruptcies, failed airline, failed scam university & failed casinos are just the most glaring ones) or a good negotiator, or a good deal-maker. The only thing he ever successfully sold was his far overvalued name, and even that became worthless to US banking institutions in very short order. The reason we’ll never see his promised tax returns is because they’ll show that he was never an actual, viable billionaire. All of his supposed worth was tied up in deeds, certificates, IOUs, and whatever else other people hold while he was scrambling to make various monthly payments. In other words: debt. Until the Russians and all of the money they needed to launder came along, that is.

Without his tax returns, this is all unproven conjecture, innuendo and rumor, but it’s the only viable reason he continues to refuse to release them as he promised to do several years ago. And his ‘they’re still under audit’ excuse is wearing very thin. Sheer, in fact. Diaphanous. See-through.

Now this moose turd is happily selling the United States of America off to Putin in exchange for the proverbial thirty pieces of silver. I’m sure even the brain dead white evangelicals will recognize that unsubtle metaphor. At this point it’s totally and completely appropriate to refer to *45 by his alter ego, Vladonald Trumputin. And anything and everything much, much worse, so feel free to pile on any others you can think of.

Iguano – A newly discovered species of lizard. Aka: The Orange Poop Lizard.

Iguano

Anyway.

It saddens me to no end that his pusillanimous base can’t see that the #TaxScam foisted upon us by *45 and the complicit @GOP was a slow, deliberate sell-off of the USA to corporate America and the richest one to two percent. But no, his clown base not only voted for it to happen to themselves and all the rest of us, but they’re happily and vociferously cheering it on. And it’s all because they blame their lost jobs and stagnant wages on the ‘liberal democrats’.

I have no doubt that there are some corrupt democrats who’ve taken advantage of the massive influx of dark money into their campaign coffers by PACs, SuperPACs, DC lobbyists, private donors and corrupt organizations too numerous (again) to name. Sadly, it’s far more common for the pretend religious conservatives of the @GOP to not only gleefully participate in this greed-driven free-for-all, but they’re the ones who created this hell-on-earth situation in the first place with Citizens United.

And don’t even get me started on all the VooDoo Economics crap that originally came from Reagan’s trickle-down (on) policies and have been repeatedly forced down our throats every time a Republican is elected to our highest office, always with horribly detrimental effects. I say don’t get me started because I don’t have any degrees or experience in theoretical or real world economics, but I have seen first-hand the disastrous consequences that have occurred every time they’ve been implemented.

It’s all of these corrupt business/corporation/investment group owners, the stock holders, the company Presidents and Corporate Officers that are truly responsible for the slow and systematic destruction of the middle and lower classes, but *45’s base are too stupid to realize that and/or too stubborn to admit they’ve been mislead by the constant lies of a #FakeBillionaire, the complicit @GOP and their corporate enablers. They’re the ones killing you/us off.

It’s called runaway capitalism. Theoretically, most economic and/or governmental systems aren’t evil in and of themselves. Communism, socialism, capitalism: all have their good points and their bad ones. The problems always come with the implementation of the system, not the system, itself.

Communism seems quite wonderful in its precepts-from each according to his ability, to each according to his need; or something like that. But,  as practiced pretty much everywhere in the world, it has been nothing but one unmitigated disaster after another. Even in economically powerful China, all is not really all that well.

Socialism, too, at least as it’s been practiced in Central and South America has not proven to be very efficient, or even good. The model practiced in Europe has been more successful except for the disenfranchised, but that is due far more to Corporate Greed than any faults with the system.

This brings us to Capitalism, which on the surface appears to be the most successful of the systems discussed so far. And it has led to unprecedented innovation, growth, wealth, advancement and other benefits never before seen in this world. It has also led to unprecedented levels of greed—the lust for money and power that somehow never seems to be quenched or satiated, and the aforementioned destruction of the middle and lower classes.

Runaway Capitalism. Free, unfettered, unregulated capitalism. An evil, evil thing, and it’s happening right now.

So, here’s an idea for all the MAGAHats out there. How about you get off your lazy anus pads and demand that every time a company replaces one or ten or a hundred of you with automation (far and away the largest killer of good, high-paying American jobs), they not be allowed to make a single $ of profit from that ‘upgrade’ until the replaced workers have found or been trained for equal or better paying jobs. All of them. Every last one. If none can be found, or if the new jobs pay significantly less, the old company covers the difference until the pay of the new job catches up with the old.

If the employee(s) are only a few years from retirement, the Company is responsible for any and all employees replaced by said automation until they retire with full benefits or die.

What’s that? You’ve lost the rights and security the unions once fought so hard to get for you?

Gasp! How and when did that happen?

How about none of the greedy unfeeling, uncaring corporate entities be allowed to profit from the very misery they are responsible for creating. How about the exact same thing happens every time they kill tens or hundreds or thousands of jobs by moving them elsewhere in cost-cutting moves. How about they not be allowed to profit from such a devastating maneuver until ALL of the displaced workers are compensated by the killing entity. How about the greedy CEOs/COOs/CFOs, stock holders, board members etc, etc, etc, not be allowed to profit from your misery until that inequality is addressed.

No? You don’t have the fortitude for such action? You’d rather blame ‘libtards’ and ‘dumbocrats’, as you call them? Go for it. Continue celebrating your ignorance. After all, you chose it, you wear it as if it’s some sort of badge of honor. It isn’t. Willful ignorance is exactly what the words imply. You’re specifically and purposely choosing to be stupid. You’re not only letting Corporate Greed kill you, and the rest of us with you, you’re actively cheering it on.

So, no, until you wake your stupid asses up, this is the only #civility any of you are going to get from the ‘libtards’ you erroneously think you’re owning while you happily destroy yourselves and everyone else along the way.

Ready? Here it is.

FUCK YOU!

RSL

#resist

Moo 1 < Go to

Twisted By The Ghoul

Original song: Twisting By The Pool – Dire Straits

Twisted By The Ghoul

Parody lyrics by: R. S. Leergaard

~

It’s going on here every day now

Can’t ignore it people, can’t run away

Nation took a mighty blow

Cost us more than we know

~

Yeah, Mitchy stole that seat

Danced to his donor beat

And, Ryan is a tool

Twisted by the, twisted by the

By the ghoul

~

They’re twisted by the ghoul

They’re twisted by the ghoul

Twisted, twisted by the ghoul

~

Sittin’ in a wire cage now

Im-, im-, immigrants all on display

They’re gonna take the kiddies, put on a show

Get on the buses and go go

~

Yeah, do it without tact

A disappearing act

And, seeing all the rules

Twisted by the, twisted by the

By the ghoul

~

Twisted by the ghoul

Twisted by the ghoul

Yeah, twisted, twisted by the ghoul

~

Yeah, moving them to far locations

Hiding all the information

And they’re gonna move them all out of reach

Sanctioned by the GOP

GOP

GOP

~

There goes one, a two

A one, a two, a three

A four

~

And more

~

They’ve been made out to be tools

They’re the party of the fools

They’ve all been twisted by the ghoul

Yeah, twisted, twisted by the ghoul

~

You know he won’t stay mute

As he battles those lawsuits

Sending out a thousand tweets

Ranting all about Time magazine

~

We’re marching in the streets

While the damn Tea Party

Can’t be anything but cruel

Twisted by the, they’ve been twisted by the

Oh, by the ghoul, twisted by the ghoul

~

They’re all twisted fools

Just twisted, yeah twisted

Twisted by the ghoul

~

Every one of them is like a poisonous toadstool

With their sorry, whining pules

Completely ruining all our schools

Oh, twisted, twisted by the ghoul

~

And they’ve pissed in all our pools

They’ve been corrupted through and through

Oh, twisted, twisted by the ghoul

~

Everybody gotta see they’re twisted by the ghoul

They’ve been twisted into fools

They’ve all been twisted by the ghoul

Oh, twisted, twisted by the ghoul

~

See there

~

You know they’re twisted by the ghoul

They’re twisted fools

Come and see the twisted, twisted fools

Twisted, twisted by the ghoul

Trumpy-thing Is Broken

Original song: Everything Is Broken – Kenny Wayne Shepherd

Trumpy-thing Is Broken

Parody lyrics by: R. S. Leergaard

~

Broken brain, broken thing

Broken man, thinks he’s king

Broken daughter, broken sons

Broken nation for everyone

He keeps on lying

Then says he’s joking

Yeah, Trumpy-thing is broken

~

Broken allies, broken mates

Broken morals, too much hate

Broken daddy, broken Prez

Can’t believe the things he says

Broke every promise he’s ever spoken

Oh! Trumpy-thing is broken

~

Seems like whenever something good comes around

Trumpy-thing will grind it down

~

Broken families, broken dreams

Broken zealots, so it seems

Broken contracts, broken deals

Broken lawyers make fake appeals

Can’t keep quiet the stars he’s pokin’

Hey, Trumpy-thing is broken

~

And every time the middle finds a place

Turn around, it’s gone without a trace

~

Broken land, broken hearts

Broken borders, just the start

Broken homes, broken schools

Admin breaking all the rules

Young ones cryin’, old folks croakin’

Hey, Trumpy-thing is broken

Trumpy-thing is broken

Trumpy-thing is broken

Trumpy-thing is broken

Woo hoo

Broken

Whoa

Yeah, Trumpy-thing is broken

Building A Wall

Original song: Fixing A Hole – The Beatles

Building A Wall

Parody lyrics by: R. S. Leergaard

~

He’s building a wall so no one gets in

And here is how it all begins

Where will we go

~

He’s filling us all with such hate and fear

And once again here it begins

Where will we go

~

What he’s really done is natter at

Us day and night

Shatter the left and right

It won’t be long

Till no one’s left standing there

And no one else is allowed in

And we’ll tell them not to darken our door

~

He’s building a wall with a hateful bray

Compounded by his blundering

Where does he go

Ooh ooh ooh ah ah

Hey hey hey hey

~

All he really does is natter at

Us day and night

Divide the left and right

It won’t be long

See our country run aground

Lose our liberties ‘til we’re not free

There’ll be no more at our door

~

Now there’s no more time left for important things

They were important yesterday

Where did they go

Ooh ooh ooh ah ah

~

He’s building a wall so no one gets in

And this is how it all begins

Where will we go oh

Where will we go oh

~

He’s building a wall so no one gets in

And this is how it all begins

Where will we go

Thing Trump

Original Song: King Tut – Steve Martin & the Toot-Uncommons

Thing Trump

Parody lyrics by: R. S. Leergaard

~

Thing Trump (Thing Trump)

Now when he started running

We never thought we’d see

People stand in line to vote the orange thing

~

(Thing Trump) How’d he get so chunky?

(Chunky Trump) Really just a flunky

Son of racist daddy

No one quite so batty (Thing Trump)

~

(Thing Trump) Now if we’d seen

They’d line up for a liar

We’d have tried so much harder

And aimed a sh*tload higher

~

(Hanky Trump) So much hanky panky

(Spanky Trump) Loves the spanky spanky!

Son of racist daddy

No one quite so batty (Thing Trump)

~

Always in denial (Dodger Trump)

He’s always been a pile (Stinky Trump)

Goes the extra mile (Lying Trump)

~

He ate a dozen lunches

He sold his soul for casinos

Golden Shower!

He had a Bone Spur

Golf Golf Golfing

~

Now when he’s gone

And we have it made

We’ll have a giant party

Yes, have a YUGE parade!

~

(Tiny Trump) What’s with those tiny handies?

(Whiny Trump) Wearing dotard jammies

Son of racist daddy, no one quite so batty

Was a son of racist daddy, and ate too many chicken patties

Thing Trump

The Doxer

Original Song: The Boxer – Simon and Garfunkle

The Doxer

Parody lyrics by: R. S. Leergaard

~

We are still one nation

And our story’s getting told

We have mounted a resistance

To the daily dose of jumbled

Broken promises

All lies, no jest

Still, some just hear what they want to hear

And ignore all the rest

~

The lies came from his entire family

But were no more than a ploy

Cries of birtherism danger

And those many hate-fueled alt-right stations

Airing scares

Going low, seeking out the poorest voters

With their raggedy shit-show

Making up those stories just to get their votes

~

Lie-lie-lie

Lie and lie and lie and lie

Lie-lie-lie

Lie and lie and lie and lie and lie-lie-lie

~

Promising much higher wages

He kept shouting “Jobs! Jobs! Jobs!”

While he filled his coffers

With the bribes and kickbacks from back-channel policies

Though he declared, “No, there was no Russian Collusion.”

We found no comfort there

~

Lie-lie-lie

Lie and lie and lie and lie

Lie-lie-lie

Lie and lie and lie and lie and lie-lie-lie

~

Now he hangs out at his winter home

That they call Mar-A-Lago

All alone

Or one of his other country clubs with no friends there

Leaving him

All alone

~

We’re all weary of the doxer

Oh, the liar who’s self-made

As he constantly reminds us

Of everyone that he’s put down

And bilked till they were dried out

Clenching tiny hands in rage

He’s denying that he’s lying

But the liar still remains

~

Lie-lie-lie

Lie and lie and lie and lie

Lie-lie-lie

Lie and lie and lie and lie and lie-lie-lie

~

Lie-lie-lie

Lie and lie and lie and lie

Lie-lie-lie

Lie and lie and lie and lie and lie-lie-lie…

Lies

Original Song: Signs – The Five Man Electrical Band

Lies

Parody Lyrics by: R. S. Leergaard

~

The liar said

All those greasy people

They’re not ‘our kind’

Then we all sat there and watched Mr. Fat

As he told us another lie

He said they’re all coming from sh*t-hole countries

Here’s what we’ll do

We’ll DON our MAGA hats and we’ll say this and that

Our lies coming to you

Oh-o-no

~

Lies, lies

Oh so many lies

Locking up our twitter feeds

More and more  lies

Say this and say that

Here come some more lies

~

The liar said

To everyone caught just passing

“Hey I’ll work all the time”

Then he went right on down to his southern Golf House

And! we paid forty times!

Yelled, “Build up the wall,” keep them all out

Said Mexico would be all-in

But we’re all here to tell him to his face

Man, you just ain’t a winner!

~

Lies, lies

All those farging lies

Pissing off everybody

Lie-lie, lie, lie

Claim this and claim that

Oh tell some more lies

~

And, hey you, Jellies, can’t you see?

No you don’t really have to lie for this dummy

He has no real bitch so take a seat

Why don’t you just not feed hi-iiim

The liar says hey you, take this Trump Membership Card

And tell more lies

Uh!

~

The liar said

Nobody is welcome

To come and pay-for-play

But when he got to that town and opened up that hotel

They lined up and still pay to this day

Then when he sees this in the newspapers

And he jumps up and calls it a lie

Say no thank you, Lord, we’ll finally be free

When this guy is doin’ time

Hoo!

~

Lies, lies

Stop with all the lies

Can’t you see that nobody

Wants your damn lies

Lie here and lie there

We don’t want more lies

~

Lie, lie

Lie-lie, lie, lie lie

Lie-lie, lie, lie, lie, lie-lie-lie

Lie-lie, lie, lie

Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie

Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie

No More Zombies

Original Song: All You Zombies – The Hooters

No More Zombies

Parody Lyrics by: R. S. Leergaard

~

Holy fake religious zealots

False beliefs won’t set them straight

Poke ‘em in the eye

Just tell them to go

~

Holy fakers in the fountain

With their pretend righteous wrath

Posted many fake announcements

But we’re not gonna go down that path

~

No more zombies in high places

No more in our highest seats

All you zombies running races

You know we’re gonna fall on you

~

No one ever speaks to Donnie

We just laugh at him instead

Sittin’ in the dark

Tweeting all by himself

~

Now you know we see it coming

Every day and every night

And we find ourselves just wishing

He wasn’t a Troglodyte

~

No more brain dead zombie faces

Occupying Senate seats

No more zombies running races

Some pain’s gonna fall on you

~

We won’t watch our world be shattered

By this orange unholy clown

Working in the dark, killing all decency

We won’t let it slide anymore

~

No more zombie numb-nutcases

Filling all of our House seats

No more zombies running races

Mueller’s gonna call on you

~

No more zombies holding places (Won’t vote you in there)

No more in elected seats (Can’t stand you)

No more zombies running races

It’s all gonna fall on you

Zombies…

Grabbin’ Me

Original Song: Jammin’ Me – Tom Petty

Grabbin’ Me

Parody Lyrics by: R. S. Leergaard

~

He got Leeds in a corner

And miss Harth against a wall

Left them no-where to go

Left them no space at all

~

We’ll back his accusers

Hey dude, this is not a dream

Sit back, ‘cause you’re really

Gon-na hear them scream

~

He’s grabbin’ me, he’s grabbin’ me

Quit grabbin’ me

Spanky you can’t keep us silenced in a corner

We won’t go away, no it’s not over

~

We back Na-tasha Stoynoff

We back Su-mmer Zervos

We back Cathy Helter

Don’t look now they’re at your door

~

We back miss Stormy Daniels

We back miss McDougal

We back Ta-sha Dixon

Hear them shout, yeah there they go

~

He’s grabbin’ me, he’s grabbin’ me

Quit grabbin’ me

Spanky you can’t keep us silenced in a corner

We won’t go away, no it’s not over

~

We believe miss Mariah Billatte

Tried to be Miss Teen U.S.A.

We believe Ca-ssandra Searles

No more lies today

~

He’s grabbin’ me

Quit graaaabbin’ me

Quit grabbin’ me

~

We back Temple Taggert

And Ninni Laaksonen

We back Je-ssica Drake

They’ll be talking ‘til he says when

~

He’s grabbin’ me, he’s grabbin’ me

Quit grabbin’ me

Spanky you can’t keep us silenced in a corner

We won’t go away, no it’s not over

Awww he’s grabbin’ me

Quit graaabbin’ me

He’s grabbin’ me